I Can Never Catch A Break...

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I think I need to take this moment to vent because I've got a lot of things on my mind. Let's just say I've been through enough these past couple of days and I had to stand up for myself/be brutal to people because they haven't been treating me right.

I think it's best if I should change my phone number tomorrow. Why? It's because these two Albanian men are harassing me and to be quite frank I'm in a mixture of shock/slightly afraid and being pissed off. Don't worry, I'm not in any kind of physical danger if that's what you're wondering. I'm safe. But at this moment in time I'm trying to distract myself so I can calm myself down. And I really need to get my feelings from my chest.

So let's start from the beginning. Last Saturday Karol (a close female friend of mine who I've known for the past two months) and I were hanging out in the park. She said that one of her male friends will be turning up and she asked if I was okay with it. I accepted because she said he will only hang out with us for like half an hour. Anyway before he arrived Karol told me they have been speaking online for the past year or so and this will be the first time in him and her meeting each other in real life. And before you think that she met him on an actual website, that's not the case. She said that one of her friends known this guy and they gave the phone number to Karol. Another thing she told me is he's Albanian and he works as a construction worker, so he's been in the UK for the past few few years. She also assured me that she has no romantic feelings towards him as she's interested in someone else.

Mevlan (that his name) came along and he seemed okay. Yes, I was a little shy around him as I get like that when I met new people. But I made the effort to be friendly and talk to him. Karol did speak with him and all that, but she wasn't in a talkative mood as she had a lot of things going on beforehand - she had problems with her no good ex. But I can tell she wasn't interested in Mevlan romantically and all that. So before he went him and I swapped numbers and he told me he has a male friend called Diny (who's also Albanian and who works with him). So he suggested that the next weekend all four of us should meet again in the park for like a double date. Also Mevlan told me he will pass my phone number onto Diny so we can get to know one another.

On Sunday (the next day) I spoke to Diny (as well as Mevlan) and Diny seemed alright. Bearing in mind, Karol warned me in advance not to speak about personal stuff and be mindful because I don't really know them and she doesn't know them too well either. That's rather understandable because I know she cares about me and I do trust her to watch my back like I watch hers. So yeah, I spoke with Diny on WhatsApp and he seemed okay. He asked me if I was single (to which I said yes) and he was single too. I didn't really disclose any deep information about my past relationships, but I did say I had a crush on someone last month but it didn't work out in the end. He just said that he wanted to take me out to Central London along with other sweet things. But after my crush on that idiot Adam (the dom from Devon) I've became more careful and not be swayed so easily by what a man says.

Everything was going okay until Tuesday. You see, for the most part of the day I had lunch with Andy and by the time I came home I was exhausted and I wanted to chill out with my mum before doing my own thing for the rest of the evening. And because I didn't answer Diny's messages on WhatsApp Mevlan got in touch. He said to me that Diny was upset that I wasn't talking to him and apparently I was ignoring him. At the time I thought nothing of it, but it did strike a nerve with me.

I consider myself to be an introverted person, as most of you probably realise by now, so that means I take some time to warm up to people who I don't know. I mean, sure, I have kinda learned to enjoy socialising with people in real life and not let my social anxiety get the better of me, but I do like to do my own thing and spend time on my own. Now with an introverted person they have a rich inner life and in no way are they anti-social or anything like that. It's just say that they can be social with friends/other people however afterwards they can feel themselves a little drained and of course they want to recharge their batteries by doing their own thing. Needless to say I'm no different - that's why I take time in answering comments and/or getting back to people.

But I find that one of the things I can't stand personally is when I don't answer straight away some people get the wrong impression and they automatically think that I'm ignoring them when in all honesty I'm not. I didn't feel the need to explain to them that I'm an introvert and all that because their understanding of English isn't all that advanced. So I just told them both that I've been busy with things and I assured them I wasn't ignoring anyone and whatnot. Plus the fact I don't really know them so I'm more inclined to speak to those who I do know and have a good friendship with.

I have to admit something though something did happen that struck alarm bells with me. Now out of the blue Mevlan remarked how strong I have been without a man for the past four years and how it must be difficult. He then basically delved into personal stuff like "Do you feel hot and horny? I bet you do. Years without sex is not good."  Now if you have known someone for three days and if they started speaking about sexual concerns/your private life, that's totally unacceptable. That's a real turn off in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I do talk about sex from time to time and I have nothing against the subject. But I don't feel comfortable talking about it, especially my personal business, with someone who I barely know. With my girl friends we do have discussions about sex and men and we have a laugh about it. But I think with the opposite sex you have to be mindful if you talk about sex with them. And as a girl, I have to be careful because you do get some guys who might get the wrong impression and who won't take no for an answer.

So when he was saying that, I thought to myself "Fuck this shit. I'm out!" and I made out that I was heading off to get some sleep. Thankfully he got the message and he let me go. But after that conversation I couldn't help but to be a bit suspicious. If he was like that, then how the hell do I know if his friend, Diny, is the same? I know it may sound over the top but I value my safety. For a few days afterwards both lads tried to message me on WhatsApp but I wasn't taking any notice and plus the fact on Thursday I was going through a very hard time (very long story) and I didn't feel like speaking to anyone.

Things got really bad last night (Friday). Because I was on Whatsapp minding my own business and speaking to Karol (as it was pretty urgent as I had to find out the plans for the double date and me telling her the problems I've went through), both boys wouldn't stop pestering me at all. And the more they kept on messaging me when I was trying to speak to Karol, the more wound up I was getting.

This was my conversation with Diny:

D: Hey. How are you?
D: Where have you been?
D: I want to come to meet tomorrow.
D: Speak to me please.
Me: I'm kinda busy right now and I have to speak to my friend about the plans for tomorrow.
D: Ok.
D: Where is Kayley? Tell her to write to me please.

So when I read that I done a mental face palm. I'm sorry, I know he doesn't grasp the English language very well but oh dear Lord, he must be that stupid not to have realise that it was ME, Kayley, speaking to him when I was explaining that I was busy. I didn't bother answering him because knowing me, I would make a slightly sarcastic comment to him. So in the end I bit my tongue to spite myself in order to avoid a misunderstanding.

Now, on the other hand with the other bloke (Mevlan), he was so fucking rude to me and I wasn't certainly standing for it. This is the chat between him and I:

M: What are you doing?
M: You alright lol
M: Where have you been lol
M: You alright there?
M: Are you ignoring me or what lol
Me: I'm chatting to Karol because I'm going through a hard time right now and I need her advice. That's why I haven't been talkative these past few days. So no, please don't assume  I'm ignoring you.
M: You ignore me.
Me (by this time I was pissed off): I think you should re-read the last sentence as I did say I wasn't ignoring you.
M: I respect you, you should respect me back when I ask how are you.

I think you can imagine how pissed off I was in terms of these two idiots. I was more disgusted with what Mevlan said to me because that was uncalled for. You can see that I tried to explain things to him in a clear manner but still he acted like a right douchebag about it. I kid you not, but when I shown my parents the messages they were disgusted. Mum told me I should let no man talk to me that way because I'm far more better and that I should put him in his place/stand my ground. Dad said, "How dare he speak to you like that? He doesn't know the meaning of respect and the bastard certainly don't know how to respect women!" To be perfectly honest, my parents are right in what they say. Even I told Andy what happened and he said this: "That guy should be told that respect has to be earned, and not simply expected because he has a penis!" You certainly can't argue with that logic, can you?

So in the end I reached my limits and blocked both Mevlan and Diny on my WhatsApp, thinking it would be a good idea to take a break from them for a few days before eventually unblocking them. Anyway today (Saturday) was the whole double date thing, but Karol texted me this morning. She said that we have to reschedule for another time because of issues she's going through involving her family - I won't say exactly what as it's not my business to tell, but I assured her that it was fine and not to worry because I understand. She seemed to have cheered up after me saying that. I did ask her if she has let Mevlan know of the double date not happening today to which she said she did.

I was under the impression that everything was fine and dandy. Oh, how I thought wrong...A few hours aho Diny texted me and because of how badly written it was I had to read it a few times because it confused the hell out of me. Anyway this is what he put (and I'm writing it in all its originality):

"Hello Kayley. I thought you are a good girl but you do not please even less to me is anyway it does not matter and I like fell in love with you but it seems that I fell in love taken with you I really wanted to meet because to know each other but you hurt me do not even know where is the problem do not know what made you do not speak at all only have wanted to know why. Thanks also hope to understand each for up to here."

Seriously, how the hell am I meant to translate and understand that text when it simply doesn't make any sense whatsoever? It's kinda like trying to decipher an ancient code if you know what I mean. So in my state of confusion I immediately shown my mum and dad the message and they could barely understand him at all.  Dad suggested that I shouldn't respond back because in his eyes that text doesn't even warrant a response back. So half an hour later Diny phoned me in front of my family and I rejected his phone call. I also blocked his number because I felt that I was being harassed.

However these are some of the things that I want to point out:

1. How the fuck can you fall in love with someone you HAVE NOT met within a few days of speaking to each other through messages on WhatsApp? :stare: I'm sorry, but I find the concept to be laughable! From my understanding you have to develop a good friendship with a person over a period of time before you begin to fall for them. That's what happened with me and my ex boyfriends - I was friends with them for a long period of time before getting romantically involved with them. I'm not a believer of love at first sight because to me that is lust/sexual attraction instead of real love.

Even my parents agreed with me when I pointed it out to me. They believe because he's Albanian he might be looking to get married to an English girl just so that he can get visa in this country. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to think this might be the case. When we got talking, my parents did say that in some cultures (not all) men think they are superior and they treat women like second class citizens.  That's why they're kinda against me and my brother dating someone from a different culture/nationality because they don't want us (especially me) to be treated like dogs and be physically abused.

I found out from my dad that Albanian men don't treat women with respect due to the fact of Albania's main religion is Muslim. And I remember Mevlan saying he was Muslim because I offered him a sausage roll and he explained to me he doesn't eat pork. Now one of my family members married a Muslim and she changed for the worse. He was controlling over her, she changed her identity and clothing just to fit in with his religion and he treated her like utter shit. You hear a lot of terrible things about Muslims in the media because of how brainwashed they are - they think the Western world is evil and that's why most of them commits acts of terrorism against innocent people and they take pleasure in the act of killing in the name of their so-called God.

2. How is it my fault that I didn't meet him today when Karol had to cancel the plans? And why the hell did he had the damn cheek to say that I hurt him? I'm sorry, but that's a load of bullshit! I'm not taking responsibility for something that I haven't even done. It just shows how stupid he is if he thinks it's my doing and for him to try and guilt trip me is bloody unacceptable.

3.  I've explained to him on more than one occasion why I haven't been speaking to him or his dimwitted friend. And still he doesn't grasp a word that I've said to him - honestly, it's like I'm speaking to a brick wall...I don't have to explain to him. I am my own boss and I belong to no one. I certainly don't jump to anyone's command because I am a human being, not some kind of fucking object. I've had a terrible couple of days because for a long time one of my friends tried hooking me up with a 51 year old man (who is WAY too old for me in the first place) and because of her pushing my buttons until the point of no return I told her what I truly thought of her before cutting ties with her. I cut ties with the 51 year old as well because he kept on pestering me and my God, he was a major pain in my arse as he was far too persistent.

So yeah, my parents told me it's best to change my phone number tomorrow. I've sent Karol a message on Facebook saying that I'm being harassed by those arseholes and I don't feel comfortable meeting up with them - I'm fine hanging around her, but I don't want to see the boys ever. I just hope she will understand me and respect my wishes.


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